Well, we’re finally at the end of the ‘Million Dollar Listing” season on Bravo. And it couldn’t come a moment too soon. The real estate market is in the tank, our boys – Chad Rogers, Josh Flagg, and Madison Hildebrand – are scratching for just about any kind of listing, and tempers are flaring.
Madison has spent 11 weeks trying to sell a house, and he gets the owners to lower the price. He gets a nibble, but the couple looking at the house sure doesn’t appear to be all that serious. Madison gets his hopes up anyway. The husband gives a low-ball offer, and Madison decides to believe the guy was joking. He wasn’t.
Chad meets with his cosmetic-surgically-enhanced mom and silent dad to tell them that he wants to do something really special for his girlfriend, Victoria. Mom (who I think was “That Girl” in a previous life), is very encouraging. Chad says it’s a secret, but that he’s already told Starla (his little rat-dog).
Josh explains that, due to the down market, he’s taken on some listings he would have poo-pooed in the past. Translation: he’s got nothing going on.
He drives up to a lean-to in Beverly Hills – which is still worth at least a million dollars. Apparently, just having an address in 90210 means a lot of money, even if you don’t have a roof over your head.
Josh meets with the owner, who tells him he’s a real estate investor, and that he had loaned money to an architect who was going into the development business and intended to build a house, a pool, and a pool house – until it all went belly-up in permit entanglements.
So the owner foreclosed, but he now has the building permits and wants to unload the whole thing. Josh suggests getting him a partner who will put up the money to build the house, and when they sell it, the owner and the partner would split the profits. What a great idea…in theory. They’re going to ask just under two million dollars.
Chad heads to the Hollywood Hills to meet with a “Grammy-award-winning music producer” friend of his in the Hollywood Hills who wants to sell his house as fast as possible. It turns out that this guy Bradley hasn’t paid his mortgage in nine months and the house is now worth far less than he paid for it.
But Bradley says he’s “on the pinnacle of making things happen” and just needs to buy time. He wants Chad to help him buy time, and Chad looks like he just ate something really bad.
Chad tells Bradley he’s going to do everything he can to make sure Bradley doesn’t lose his home.
Josh brings in a bunch of developers who might want to build a house on the property in Beverly Hills. No go. Too much risk, very little reward.
Madison keeps following up with the couple who showed some interest on the house, to no avail.
Chad gets two frantic calls from Bradley, saying that the sheriff is there and he’s going to take the house. By the time Chad returns the call, Bradley says he’s dealing with it and doesn’t need Chad. What’s up with that?
Josh meets with the Beverly Hills land owner, and tells him to reduce the price by $500,000. Gulp! The owner wants to see at least $1.3 million. We’ll see.
Madison has to tell the owners of his listing that the couple doesn’t want the house. The husband takes Madison out to the woodshed…er…backyard, and Madison thinks he’s going to get his ass kicked.
But the husband says they were able to work something out with the bank and that they’re keeping the house. Madison is greatly relieved that his face will not be rearranged.
Chad meets with a foreclosure specialist to find out how to help Bradley save his house, and then gets together with Bradley to tell him to call his bank and give them his financials.
Bradley tells Chad he’s called the bank everyday for months and isn’t making steady money.
That’s the help?
Madison has finally decided to get out of his “polyamorous” stage of life and let people know he’s gay. What a shock.
Josh gets an offer of $1.3 million on the Beverly Hills property, but there’s a contingency. Josh gets creative and gets the deal done. What a guy.
Chad visits Bradley, who tells him he has new partners and a new company. Now he has the money to save his house. Chad takes the credit.
Chad gets a pedicure and asks one of the women who works there to give Starla a 20- minute massage. He says Starla is stressed-out. The look on the woman’s face is priceless.
Josh and his client celebrate the sale of the Beverly Hills property by breaking a bottle of champagne on the lean-to. Easier said than done. It takes Josh multiple tries to break the bottle.
All the boys converge on a site in Pacoima to help build a house for “Habitat for Humanity.” Josh and Chad don’t have any discernible handyman capabilities, but Madison does pretty well.
Madison pokes and prods Chad to tell him why he and Josh don’t get along. Chad won’t bite. We may never know what the deal is with these guys…or care.
Chad gets to use his favorite line on Josh – “Don’t cheapen this day.“ These guys don’t even know how to fight.
Chad thanks everyone for helping to build the house, as if it was his project.
As the season of “Million Dollar Listing sinks slowly in the west, Chad brings Victoria and Starla to see a house that he’s bought for them! Victoria is shocked and happy… I think.
Josh plays golf with his grandmother, and Madison makes out with his new, hunky boyfriend.
Will the boys be back for a new season? Stay tuned.
