The housing downturn sobers up Chad Rogers, Josh Flagg, and Madison Hildebrand, the hot-shot LA-based real estate agents on Million Dollar Listing.
Well, sort of. In the first show of the season, the boys brag about how many houses they sold last year, and how much money they made. They think their great sales skills and personalities will keep them at the top of the heap, no matter how bad the economy gets. Uh huh.
Josh even gets a buzz haircut, because he thinks people are more conservative now, and that the haircut “reflects the mood of the buyersàprofessional, buttoned up, top of my game.”
Cut to a plug for Jose Eber, hair stylist to the stars. There’s apparently no shame in these reality shows.
Meanwhile, one of Madison’s shadier-looking clients summons him to a Rolls-Royce dealership to tell him he wants to buy a couple of properties. Why meet at the dealership? Why not?
Next, Josh goes down memory lane, telling us how great he is, and how he understands the market, andàwell, you get the idea.
Josh has a new listing in Beverly Hills that’s a 4,200 square foot mess. Josh says that he always checks under the lid of a toilet because there’s a manufacturing date, which will tell him the last time the house was remodeled.
Could that always work? I replaced a cracked toilet a few years ago without remodeling the bathroom or house. Hmmmà.
So, because the house isn’t in good condition, and the market is slow, Josh decides to price the house at $3,995.000 to get it sold, and he thinks it’s a bargain. What a world.
Chad had agreed to take a look at his electrolysis-lady’s house in the San Fernando Valley to see why it’s not selling.
As he drives up to the house, he sniffs that houses in this neighborhood only sell for one to five million dollars and it’s not his favorite zip code for high-end homes. Boo hoo.
The he starts to tour the house, and says “Wow, what a great space,” which seems to be the proper lingo to use when first seeing a new house. I have to remember that.
He thinks they’re nervous and bring out this little rat-looking dog from his briefcase to make them smile. Bizarre.
He gets them to list the house for $1,299,900, and they sign the contract. So I guess this piddly sale is worth Chad’s time.
Josh has a broker’s open house, and decides not to do anything to fix up the house because it’s going to be torn down or gutted anyway.
Madison shows up to look at the house for his shady client and is appalled at the condition of the house and can’t believe Josh has left it this way. A little competitive spirit, perhaps?
Madison later returns a call from a prospective seller who is a sex author. Madison is already intrigued. He calls her back and sets up an appointment. He’s pretty excited, probably because of her “saucy comments” on the phone.
Chad and Josh end up at the same gas station. What a coincidence! It gives them both the opportunity to again tell us how much they hate each other.
Moving onàChad holds an open house at the Valley house and expects a “strong turnout.”
He “Chaderizes” the house, cleaning, putting things awayàand then finds the hairsprayà
Not one person shows up at the open house, and Chad says it’s a new low. He can’t believe the market has changed so quickly. Doesn’t he read the news?
Madison and his able-bodied assistant head over to sex-advice-writer lady’s home in Malibu to see if he can get the listing.
She wants $6 million, and Madison says he can sell it for $4.4 million. She’s not happy, but finally agrees.
Josh shows the fixer-upper-tearer-downer Beverly Hills house to the young scion of a “very successful high-tech company.” That means Daddy has money.
Madison is getting frustrated because he can’t find properties for shady client, but he thinks porn client’s house will sell fast.
Chad coughs up money for a huge food spread at his next open house for electrolysis-ladyàand lo and behold, tons of people show up.
Next we’re treated to a very long negotiation between Josh and the high-tech scion’s agent. You know Josh is going to get the money he wants for his client. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be showing this drivel. Josh gets his price, and everyone celebrates.
Madison’s not getting much action on porn-lady’s house, but he’s really excited because he’s gotten a call from an agent who says that she has a client who is interested.
The client shows up in a Rolls-Royce Phantom, and Madison is quite impressed. He says it usually (but I guess not always) means that the client has money in the bank.
The wife looks fairly normal, but the husband looks like he stepped out “The Sopranos” central casing. They do like the house, so Madison is hopeful.
Chad’s back at electrolysis-lady’s house to try to extend the listing contract which is running out soon. He needs to use all of his powers of persuasion to get her and her husband to sign with him again. But he does prevail.
Madison is tooling through Malibu and just happens to spy the agent in a parking lot who brought the couple to see his client’s house. I’ll bet that happens all the time. He jumps out of his car, expecting to get an offer. You just know this won’t end well.
Of course, the other agent says she found a different house for her clients in Beverly Hills, and by the way, she has to runà
Josh takes high-tech-scion and his agent out for a Champaign lunch so we can see how successful he is.
Madison has been trying to able to sell porn-lady’s house, but hasn’t been successful. He suggests to her that she reduce the sale price. She’s crushed.
Onward to next week!
the Economic recession made a lot of jobless people in my own country. We could only hope that our economy becomes strong again
Our country was also hit hard by the Economic Recession. At least we are seeing some signs of economic recovery now. I hope that we could recover soon from this recession.
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